Grief.

Grief is an enemy and a friend. That is why when you have experienced extreme grief you feel connected to others who have as well. You feel part of the same “club”.

This “grief club” knows that grief is like a torturous villain that surprises you with his presence. When you least expect it fills your heart with so much pain you feel like you could die.

This “grief club” knows that grief is like riding a roller coaster in the dark. You don’t know when you’re going to go up and then plummet down without warning.

I’m feeling the need to check in with you!! How are you doing!?!? Are you checking in with yourself each day?!? I”m concerned for you all!!

We are a few days into a semi-quarantined state. COVID19 has landed on our globe. Kids are going to doing virtual school and will be home full time. We aren’t going out.

We aren’t going to sports.

I have to do my own grocery shopping and not order them to be delivered. (torture, am I right?!?)

I can’t hire a babysitter.

This is just like the difficult and sometimes miserable old days when I was a stay at home mom.

Yep, I said it.

No matter what you think you are searching for, you will find it.

We, as humans, are complex creatures, yet, so simple. We think about complex things, yet we don’t look at the whole picture.

We dream AND we limit ourselves at the same time.

It is all possible … and probable.

I can remember a day back to pre 6th grade when I was standing in my childhood home kitchen, no one else was around.

I took two cookies from the pantry.

They were the generic white ones with the creme in the middle and I was about to head up to my room. Before I could make it to the stairs, I thought maybe I should dip the cookies in the Betty Crocker can of frosting in the pantry. You know, because cookies aren’t sweet enough on their own.

I can vividly remember the sheer relief I felt when I got the results of my lactulose breath test back that revealed I had Small Intestinal Bacterial Overgrowth (SIBO).

After two years of seeing more specialists than I could count, I was so glad to have a name behind a lot of the symptoms that ailed me (which I still ended up being wrong about, but that’s another blog for another time). Only people that have been searching endlessly for answers about their health can fully understand what I am talking about.